the digital coven

<billydoom> you’re talking about the strips of vinyl
<billydoom> you should be able to buy that at any reputable supply shack
<nexus6> will krylon fusion stick to that without chipping off during normal use?
<billydoom> www.strip-curtains.com
<nexus6> I figure the door to wintermute labs should have the logo for wintermute labs on it.
* billydoom does a victory lap as he was right, it’s vinyl
<billydoom> now that place is selling large scale (12″ wide) strips, i’m imagining you’re wanting the smaller 4″ or 6″ strips
<billydoom> there you have it, grainger.com has it.
<billydoom> if there isn’t a grainger warehouse in your city, then burn the city down and move to another.
<billydoom> rolls of heavy vinyl strip
<nexus6> would it be ok to burn the city down anyway?
<billydoom> i’d be offended if you didn’t.

So I’m writing this book called “The Ravings of a Madman.” Since I actually plan to sell this, I can’t give you the whole deal, but here’s a small sample for the first part of my inventions section.

Inventions

If I had a nickel for every scheme that I’ve come up with, I’d be driving the space shuttle. If I had a nickel for every scheme that I’ve successfully implemented, I’d be in even more debt than I am now. I come up with ideas for many inventions that would help the world. Luckliy for the world, and much to my chagrin, most of my inventions are brought to the market by other people about 30 days after I come up with the idea. There are a select few that haven’t been stolen by other people yet, and I’ll give them to you so that I can remain consistent in my failure.

The Dino Grenade:
This little bastard will change modern warfare as we know it. Few things in the world are more dangerous than the Russian Spetznas. These are the people who practice throwing hatchets at terrorists while at the apex of a backflip over a razor-wire fence. Not an exageration. There are pictures of this. These people do not fuck around. Now imagine them with a whitish grenade that looks a bit too large to be a frag. Instead of throwing a hatchet while backflipping towards a terrorist, he’s throwing this grenade while backflipping away and has a look of abject terror on his face. Why would a commando of such elite awesomeness run away? Because when the 5 second fuse on that grenade elapses, it explodes creating a flurry of egg-shel shrapnel. And then the crowd pleaser. That’s right, a fully developed miniature velociraptor emerges. You might think that a miniature velociraptor couldn’t possibly scare a member of Spetznas, but let me break it down for you. Weiner dogs aren’t all that wound up. They’re pretty chill actually. Miniature weiner dogs on the other hand will tear your face off or die trying because they know they’re small, and have something to prove. So on that same token, if a normal raptor could kill the population of entire cities, then a miniature velociraptor could have single-handedly ended world war ii. Just make sure that whoever steals this idea remembers to give them the lysine deficiency lest they make their way back to the mother land and kill us all.

billydoom: i swear to the gods boy, if you move to france, i'll disown you.
nexus6: why? food's better.
nexus6: at least over there, the government is afraid of the people, as it should be.
nexus6: i don't think i'd really live there.
nexus6: estonia maybe. possibly belgium.
billydoom: boy, the united states is where the action is at.
nexus6: don't get me wrong. i love america. but it doesn't love me back. the way people are expected to be in this society isn't good for me. i'd do better there.
billydoom: gods dam right.
nexus6: right about what?
billydoom: she's like an ungrateful mistress.
billydoom: you give her the schlong, she enjoys the hell out of it, then she won't even make you a sandwich.
billydoom: but you don't leave her.
billydoom: you start smacking her around
billydoom: show her who's boss!
billydoom: and you can post that to your web site.
billydoom: some times i miss the internet...
billydoom: not often.
nexus6: what makes you think i'm not already posting it on the website?

Pre-rant titillation (listen to brain bypass by combichrist as you read):

That study has implications for drug addiction and other compulsive behaviors. Berridge has proposed that in some addictions the brain becomes sensitized to the wanting cycle of a particular reward. So addicts become obsessively driven to seek the reward, even as the reward itself becomes progressively less rewarding once obtained. “The dopamine system does not have satiety built into it,” Berridge explains. “And under certain conditions it can lead us to irrational wants, excessive wants we’d be better off without.” So we find ourselves letting one Google search lead to another, while often feeling the information is not vital and knowing we should stop. “As long as you sit there, the consumption renews the appetite,” he explains.

Actually all our electronic communication devices—e-mail, Facebook feeds, texts, Twitter—are feeding the same drive as our searches. Since we’re restless, easily bored creatures, our gadgets give us in abundance qualities the seeking/wanting system finds particularly exciting. Novelty is one. Panksepp says the dopamine system is activated by finding something unexpected or by the anticipation of something new. If the rewards come unpredictably—as e-mail, texts, updates do—we get even more carried away. No wonder we call it a “CrackBerry.”

Rant:

Most of the people I know are addicted to the Internet. Here is where you insert a joke about getting beaten to death in a Chinese Internet addiction camp. It’s odd though. I use the Internet regularly because I have to, but I’m not like… well… 90% of the people I speak with. I say that it’s odd because I’m easily addicted to things, but I’m pretty good about using the interwebs merely as a means to defeat boredom or to help me with work/school. There are plenty of people I know but won’t name who must literally be torn away from facebook, myspace, slashdot, twitter, and many other sites I’d be happy to drop the names of if I didn’t have the feeling my compile is about to finish.
Oh, and your phone? It definitely counts.
As it turns out, you are all a bunch of base heads. I’m sorry, that was rude of me. The politically correct term is crack fiend. Don’t get me wrong, I’d rather see you all neglect your children because you’re on the Internet as opposed to doing meth. If you’re doing meth, you’re probably going to end up hitting the child. And if you did that, I’d have to hit you. It’s odd how people don’t see the threat of the internet. I suppose that’s why I sympathize with the luddites so much. It’s just that there’s things in life that are –

Yeah, ok, the WAR is done deploying to the tomcat server, I’m out. Read the article that spouted this nonsense.

Seeking – slate.com

Sister Doom: (my husband) has made me not so glam haha. he taught me how to curse.
nexus six: has he taught you how to do it in context? i mean, the context of swearing is a point where mother and i have a pragmatic disagreement.
nexus six: she thinks that with a vocabulary of sufficient gravity, swearing becomes unnecessary. but no matter how eloquently you can pontificate on the foolishness of another, sometimes just calling somebody a “fucking retard” really does work most effectively.

I made a program for android that gets your gps location, feeds it into the wefeelfine.org API and gets the 1000 most recent feelings for your area, then sorts the feelings by number of occurances.

Based on the output, it’s a good thing that I don’t trust computers to tell me how to feel…

Your location: latitude 40.591 longitude -111.883 Sandy Utah
Based on the people in your area,
you should feel: bad
Top 20 feelings in your area:
bad – 42
better – 28
good -24
right -15
sick – 15
shit – 14
down – 11
guilty – 10
same – 8
alone – 7
happy – 7
horrible – 7
lost – 6
loved -6
sad – 6
wrong – 6
comfortable – 5
great – 5
worse – 5
awkward – 4

strych9: I think my math teacher is going to yell at me tomorrow.

nexus6: how’s that?

strych9: because i’m done with all my homework for this week.

nexus6: it’s only tuesday. good work. so why’s he going to yell at you?

strych9: well, yesterday i asked him a question after class about my homework and he just said i was ahead of the class.

nexus6: huh. that makes him either a very bad teacher, or a very not normal teacher. most math and science teachers would be like “what? someone is actually trying? that’s never happened before!” and then their heads would implode.

strych9:o’rly?

nexus6:yeah. the heads of normal people explode. but when the head of a scientist goes, it implodes because it’s so massive that it collapses under it’s own gravity.

commies. they’re all around us. and if you don’t watch out, they’ll get to you too.

nexus6: seriously? Huh. Let me get a second opinion from an electrical engineer.
nexus6: hey oSource? If you had to choose, would you rather be a sine wave, a square wave, or a saw wave?
oSource looks deep in thought for a few moments.
oSource: I’m lazy, so I’d be a sine wave.
nexus6: What does being a sine wave have to do with laziness?
oSource: It doesn’t take any work to generate a sine wave.
nexus6 laughs.
nexus6: no fourier transforms for you, eh?

these are the kind of deep questions i regularly pose to my peeps.

Huh. I shower, don’t play WoW, and I have a girlfriend.
Apparently that makes me “not normal” at my school.
LA Times article here